2009 saw many strange and interesting occurrences. A mixed race person took control of the most powerful country in the world, and everyone chanted 'Yes We Can' for months on end. UK politicians were exposed to be abusing their expenses and taxpayers money… like we didn’t already know. The recession (aka the ‘credit crunch’) took hold and being poor became fashionable for about four seconds. It snowed heavily twice, bringing the UK to a standstill twice. Swine Flu was the new Bird Flu. Madonna went shopping and brought back a black baby, actually speaking of babies, in the UK everyone was outraged at the prospect that a thirteen year old could be a dad (it wasn’t his kid in the end, the fifteen year old girl had slept with two other boys around the same time… I know what you’re thinking, but I’m not going to say it…). There were racial controversies all over the place, and it highlighted how some people’s thinking was still stuck in the fifties and sixties. Usain Bolt ran. Fast. Everyone tweeted their business. Beyonce was everywhere, copied other artists and made more money from it then they did, and did that dance about four million times. Lady Gaga was also everywhere, doing her best to prove that she should be sectioned. A spinster became a star. Chris Brown flopped his own career by hitting Rihanna, however her career went from strength to strength. She celebrated this by wearing less clothes and pretending to be dark and mysterious. Kanye West did a Kanye West and stole Taylor Swift’s moment at the MTV awards. Lauren Conrad left The Hills, only to be replaced by someone inferior. Grime was watered down and became mainstream. R&B died, and has been since repackaged as ‘Urban’ music. BNP leader Nick Griffin was allowed on Question Time. Everyone watched. Somebody won Big Brother 10. Somebody won the Mercury music prize. Tiger Woods was revealed to be a part time slut. Rock beat pop to the UK Christmas number one. This made Simon Cowell mad, but his face showed no emotion. And a lot of celebrities dropped dead like flies, proving no-one, no matter how rich, talented or beautiful is immune from Death’s jaws.
I think I’ve spent most of this year being confused. A-levels completely flummoxed me. People completely bewildered me. Funny that, because last year I wrote about how I’d learnt so much. That’s the problem with seventeen year olds, they think they know everything.
So that was 2009.
What are you calling next year? Twenty-ten or two thousand and ten?